for i've known completeness

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

when u fall -x

just had trials for nationals today.was initially very happy til i went dwn for trng.so i wonder.does anyone know e feeling.of throwing six throws.and then having to put a cross nxt to each throw to show that e throw wasnt counted?

six fxcking crosses.
i crossed ~~once~~.
~~twice~~
~~thrice~~
~~four times~~
~~five times~~
~~and the very last tym~~

so all my trng has just proven to be ultimate shit.
i didnt get in a single fxcking throw.
and e worst thing is i feel like i let ms lim dwn.
it wldnt be so bad if she didnt have such high hopes for me.
but e point is.
i know she wld haf liked me to go for nats.
so now i have to bear all that shame.

shame.

yes thats wad im feeling now.

damn wads wrong with me these days.
and i found out smth else abt you that really makes me wana cry.
i thought i told myself i was over it.
that wad u did didnt matter to me.well guess wad.i cant get it out of my head.
i feel mistrustful everytym i look at you now.
i hate feeling this way.

oh wells on e bright side
i got an A1 for chem.
my first! (:

who the hell am i kidding with tt smiling face anw.

mer posted at 4:27 AM