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Thursday, June 23, 2005

at the comp lab in sch now.
haha i was the ONLY girl at trng!
hwei happily didnt tell me tht tdy was unofficial trng la :(
so like only jason andrew clarence jingyan wenjun and i turned up.
did rubberbands.
andrew made some weird joke
and clar's reaction was damn funny!
"so you think you're funyjokes.com ah"
HAHAHA
omigawd i was so amused la !
clarence is hilarious man i tell u.

and !!

WANJ IS BACK! ((:
tht girl surprised us yday when we were at tcc.
its nice having her back to talk to.
even though she didnt miss me :(
but i didnt miss her either haha.
2 months of bliss. i hope..

i watched every single 132 bus go pass yesterday.
in the hopes tht one of them would have you inside.
but as each bus went pass, and i looked at the people who came dwn
my heart just sank with every moment.
i knew deep inside you prob werent coming for sure
but it was just this small flame of hope kindling inside of me.
it got extinguished thts for sure..
i know we both weren't v happy at each other yesterday.
you werent happy cos you felt i didnt undstnd tht u had work to do
and i cldnt undstnd y u had to give me such a hope tht u wld turn up.
we apologized.. but i think its better if i distance myself frm you now.
at least for awhile til the year end maybe.
there's this thought running through my head..
i've grown up..nt tht much. but i think more den last time now..
and im no longer tht carefree person u met last yr.
in your own way, you've grown up too .. at e time when i needed u most not to.
it'll take alot to make this work..but we'll see.

talked to wanj yesterday.
playing bball brought back bittersweet memories.
it was fun and all but as i looked ard, i cld see it in everyones eyes.
theres smth inside there thts just not the same anymore.
a certain sadness..and smth i cant define for sure..
all e innocence and the gaiety we used to have
i didnt see it anymore.
i cant see it.
its so scary..

im scared. im really scared..

mer posted at 9:36 PM